Married With Friends: The Chronicles - 2 months in

Its been a whole 2 months since our household went from 2 to 3. The first month brought a lot of changes. We had to get used to each other, our habits, idiosyncrasies, and preferences. A lot of frustration arose on my part in that first month. All of a sudden I went from having Adam all to myself, to sharing both him and our house. What I thought at first to be frustration towards our new house guest, I later realized was irritation from long festering wounds.

Since the beginning of our marriage 2 1/2 years ago, I had to learn to share Adam with his motorcycle hobby, and love of working in the shop at night. It was pretty tough that first year, when all I wanted to do was spend the evenings with my husband, and he was down in the shop. I did eventually get used to it, however, at least for the most part. We made time for each other and made it work.

That old wound and annoyance of not having enough "us" time arose again, and I was faced with the familiar feelings of neglect, hurt, and annoyance. After talking it out with Adam, and both my Moms, we came to the conclusion that we needed to spend more time together in order to maintain our sanity and marital happiness.

We decided to institute a short walk together after Adam gets home from work each day. It worked out perfectly because the week we started this routine was when we had that beautiful 70-80 degree weather in March. For once I felt like I had time to talk to Adam, whether about issues, work scenarios, family, or just life in general. The exercise was just an added bonus.

After a week of spending more time together in this way, we both felt a lot better about our living arrangement and our marriage. In an odd way, it took having someone else living in our house to make us realize we needed to put more effort into our marriage. I wouldn't call us lazy, but we definitely had gotten into a routine, and well, its always good to mix things up, especially when it involves communicating more, and being together. We even went out on our first real "date" in months last Sunday. It was great. We went out to eat and finished by spending several hours in the book store (our favorite place and pastime while dating).

Its not a wonder to me why so many marriages end in divorce. People can't seem to understand why after years of marriage, the flame dies, and the love grows cold. From my young and growing perspective, taking time to communicate, understand, and notice your spouse can have a lot to play in that. Its easy to get into habits and go through all the daily motions without truly making an effort to appreciate or know your spouse better. My marriage is important to me, and I know its something worth working for and fighting for.

New Job and Anniversary

Its been a lot longer than I was planning on for an update, but thats how things go in summertime when things are busy. I finished off a nice leisurely week with family on Sunday, something I was really happy to have before starting my new job. Uncle Jerry was up from Florida, so we got to do a lot of family get togethers, including seeing my grandmother home from the Bennington Health and Rehab, after a partial hip replacement and 2 weeks of recover. She did amazingly well, and is now at home. Grampy had handrails put on their front steps to make it easier for her to get up and down, and her bed was moved into the dining room, until they decide for sure what she wants to do in the long term.

Sunday night found me reading through the pages of Bennington Project Independence's handbook, and filling out the necessary paperwork. Monday was the big day. I wasn't quite sure what to wear, but figured that jeans and a plane t-shirt were probably ok for being in the kitchen. I was right, and also found out that I get to continue making use of my hat collection, because it was either that or a hair net. Easy decision. Today it was a green Harley Davidson hat, to complement my watermelon-colored shirt. :) Yes, I enjoy fun colors.

I have to say I've learned a lot in the past couple days. Yesterday was busy, but that isn't going to change. A lot of instructions. A lot to remember. I wear an apron, hat, prep food, cleanup, serve food, do dishes, and put them away after. For the second day, I've learned to do all that fairly well. I'm still learning where all of the dishes and utensils go, but have a pretty good handle on that also. One of the things I do each day is prepare the specialty meals for people. A few participants are on partial ground diets, a few others on full grounds, and one is on a puree. There are also several diabetics, a few vegetarians, and a few that don't eat dairy. It makes for challenging planning. Right now I follow orders from the cook as to what to make for these patients, but as time goes on, she'll want more advice from me, and help with the planning. This is right up my nutrition alley. One of the interesting things I learned yesterday was that Maggie (my supervisor/the cook) told me she hired me because she wants someone to be able to take over for her so she can retire. She states she is too old to do this anymore. Thats an interesting prospect. Ashley: Cook/Nutrition Coordinator. Thats not to say that I want to do that for the rest of my life, but I'm going to need to work for several years before I can afford to go on, finish the classes I need to get my degree CADE accredited, and do the RD internship. Thats one of my big goals, but since it will require me doing school full time, money needs to be saved ahead of time.

I was happy to hear today that I am doing very well so far, including being quick, efficient, and having a good memory. Learning all of the names of staff and participants will take a while, but I'm trying. I was also given a key "faab," (not sure if that is how to spell it), to access the kitchen door without entering the passcode every time. It truly is an amazing facility. I guess it should be since its only 2 years old, but it was also designed really well. The lights turn on when they sense someone is in the room, and turnoff likewise. They recycle, have a garden, and are otherwise very "green." The staff is extremely nice/pleasant, and I'm doing my best to learn my job and do it well. All in all its been a great experience the past 2 days.

All of these positives do not lessen my sadness over missing my Dad and getting to work with him. Being able to see my parents every day is something I was able to take advantage of, but now I truly realize how blessed I was. I will forever treasure those years of working for Dad, as it allowed me precious time, good experience, and wonderful memories that I won't forget. We still have our Wednesday nights with them, but it won't stop me from missing them during the day. I love you Daddy!

For now thats all.